Illuminati confirmed joke

Dogs have four legs and one tail. Four take away one is three. God has three letters. God is split.... I got stuck here on an illuminati confirmed joke, ask my gf for help and she's like "shut up."

Values and stuff

I read something today that got me thinking. The post I'd found essentially had a little description as to the benefits of writing down your own core values and living by them. So basically since then I've been debating what things are most important to me and what rules I should live by. So basically a couple main things are, honesty, loyalty to friends and closer, and never giving up no matter what. Pretty obvious things but until very recently I can remember times when I might not have followed these.

I had my first running session the other day. Naturally I got angry every time someone walked past at god knows o'clock.

I'm starting a new routine that I'm hoping to be able to stick to. It's quite a way out for me, and probably quite impossible given my track record of giving up. But I'm optimistic. So here we are in just three simple goals.

• 500 press ups.
• 500 sit ups.
• 2 miles in 15.00 - 13.00 minutes.

Yeah they're pretty intense goals, but that's why they're goals and I'm not bragging about already doing them or running laps around Usain Bolt.

Randomly occurred to me that I eat an excessive amount of food and I'm rarely full, and that got me thinking that if by some freak accident I were stranded on an island or in an isolated area with family or friends I'd probably be forced to turn to cannibalism. To avoid that I've found this page on doing taste tests, to see which plants are edible or not. http://www.ehow.com/how_2156033_perform-universal-edibility-test.html

Basically you don't eat anything for half a day, you cut up the plant into it's main parts, you test each part for fifteen minutes at a time by pressing them against your lips, and then if there's no stinging or burning you can move on to testing them the same way but against your tongue.

After that if there's no stinging or burning reaction you can take one portion of the plant and chew a small amount without swallowing. You wait three minutes, and if there's no reaction you can swallow it. Once you do that you've got to wait another half day until you're sure there's no reaction. If there is one you've got to throw it up somehow.

If it's successful, you eat a larger amount of that plant, and wait ANOTHER half day, waiting to see if your stomach commits suicide. Obviously then if that produces no reaction that part of the plant is safe! But then that still leaves the other parts to test... like the leaves, stem, flower, fruit... it's a good thing we can survive eight weeks without food!

It's always nice when the largest topics in a subject at school, are actually the easiest and require common sense. All it means is you too need a sizeable amount of common sense. Now I see where everything's going wrong for me.